1hillclimber
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Posts: 337
(11/2/04 11:16 am)
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A Sad Week
It's going to be such a difficult week. My father-in-law passed away on Saturday. What a difficult time...up and down, up and down. He had cirrhosis of the liver (and didn't even drink!) and had actually been in the hospital for two weeks before we ever found out about it. My husband's family is not close at all and there's a lot of really bad history there. The sad fact is, his father is the only family member that Chip feels a relationship with. Had it not been for the dad's brother, my husband would never have known his dad was ill.
We were called early Saturday to the hospital because the personnel there wanted the "no code" order reinstated. We'd had up and down reports that he was being considered for a transplant and that gave some hope. As of Saturday morning the plan for a transplant was rejected, as the transplant team assessed him as being ineligible. Basically they said he was "too far gone." When we got there, it was a "vulture vigil" with everyone standing around the bed watching the numbers change on his blood pressure machine. Nurses had already stated that the family would have to decide when to disconnect life support. Then they kept coming back in, reminding the brothers that they could disconnect at any time! I couldn't help but think, "Man, this is unreal...that man waited countless times for things...waited on his wife and her bullshit, waited on his kids for things...NOW it's time for everyone else to WAIT for this man to have some kind of dignified exit from this world." I was really shocked at the hospital's "let's get it over with" attitude. It was all so sad, and of course it brought back memories of losing loved ones in my own family.
I found the obituary in the online version of the newspaper. What a shock! Not sure who wrote the damned thing, but it was pitiful. It talked about the stakes-winning thorobreds that he'd trained (and even named them off), but only the wife and sons were listed as his family. Why should I be surprised? There are two daughters-in-law, five step-grandchildren, and three step-great-grandchildren.
The worst shock was having my brother-in-law calling over here screaming and cussing out his brother. Wow!! So Chip is incredibly hurt, on top of grieving about his father. What wonderful people... Yeah, I'm pissed off about it. But I'm not surprised. And I dread the visitation and funeral. We can't simply go there and pay our respects, and discuss memories of the man, oh no, that would be too normal. Instead, there's going to be hard feelings, accusations, and who knows what all will occur. One brother has already threatened to call the police if a certain person shows up at the funeral home. How pathetic.
Here are some of the things I remember about Chip's father. I remember him getting worried about me once when I was sick. He went out and bought me all kinds of medicine (the man was known for being a bit of a tightwad) to try to help me get better. I had pneumonia, but we didn't know that then. I remember that he really thought my youngest was the cat's whiskers and called her "Midget." She hated that! Actually, I think she was a bit afraid of him. He was an incredibly huge man with fists the size of small hams! He always smoked big fat cigars which she hated! But she was his "Midget." I remember that no matter what happened in life, he got up every Sunday and took his sons to church. Period. Sunday was church and that was that, no argument. Of course, he wasn't a perfect person...we had our disagreements, but at least he tried. Which is more than I can say for the sorry-asses that he left behind over in that house.
One good thing, though...if Chip ever wondered where he stood with his kids and his friends, he has now been shown. The kids have camped out over here since Saturday night, especially Iris and Draconis! Daniel lives here, and Jess gets here when she can. Many of our friends have been here and some have stayed. The brothers had threatened to come over here and trounce Chip, so if they do show up, they're gonna run into a whole army! The brothers blame Chip for "not being there." They refuse to see that he "wasn't there" because of THEM! Because they were constantly fighting and competing and starting shit. His relationship with his dad was decent. His relationship with his Mom? Forget it! Since she tried many times in his childhood to beat him to death, there's not much relationship there. Of course, she did the same thing to the other ones, but Chip was her favorite punching bag. And now they can't understand why he's not there hovering over her like they are. WHATever... Chip has decided that once the funeral is over, he has no reason to ever see them again. And that is sad, too. But understandable.
I'll just be glad when it's over.
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