Back to the Den
Idrian shook his coat once more as he padded into the Deadwood den. By now it was dry, but he still felt quite chilled-not that it was a bad feeling, by any means. But nonetheless, the old wolf was ready to curl up and warm up.
He looked about, deliberating on a perfect sleeping spot. He padded to a relatively unused area and began to dig at the dirt, hollowing out what seemed a circle impossibly small for his body to fit into.
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
Raven followed him in. She was dry, the small coldness left was nice, made her feel clean, new again. She laughed to herself as she watched the other Gamma make a bed for himself.
She went in and out bringing back bits of moss she had found she dug a hole herself, larger then normal and padded it with the moss, it would help her sleep with out the nightmares she had.
"Idrian, tell me about the pack." she asked softly, almost like a pup for a bedtime story.
Re: Back to the Den
"I don't really know much about the pack yet-," He looked up from his cozy bed-and looked like a ball of fur with a wolven face and ears. "I've not been here very long myself."
"It is a strong pack , though, I have faith in it. Deacon is a good Alpha, and there is much hope where the alpha is strong. I just wish I could have been stronger myself." He looked sad again-but not so sad as before. Melancholic, perhaps.
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
Back to the Den
Raven nodded from herown cozy sweet smelling bed.
"He seems to know what he's doing, but I trust you more. Perhaps its because you act honest and fair, or because you and I have had more time to talk. Either way..." she gave an almost shrug.
Her own little nest was warm and smelled of the fresh outside. The softness made it easy to fall asleep in and eased the brusing on her body from the fight she had dealt with before coming to the pack.
Re: Back to the Den
He smiled, "You know me better-it is reasonable to believe that is why you trust me more. But Deacon is worthy of our trust. He knows what I had thought was forgotten among our kind. He is aware that the pack-and not the wolf-is what needs to survive, and to do that, all decisions are to be made for the good of the pack. I respect that in him."
He watched over her as she drifted off to sleep. It was good to see she was getting some rest, and he watched into the night until he, too, was lulled to slumber by the soft calls of the owls and the breeze in the bare trees.
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
Re: Back to the Den
Raven woke sometime later in the night unable to restfully. She missed the warmth of another beside her. She was heart sick, lonely in the way only one who has lost their mate would know.
Moving silently, she went to the mouth of the cave watching the winter come. No one heard her move, after she was born to silent feet. But her heart, that was not so silent, and she was unable to keep from a few tears from falling.
Re: Back to the Den
Idrian woke, looking around. The moonlight was obscured by a form he was fast becoming familiar with. He rose and stretched slowly, and walked to the mouth of the den. "Raven...Raven, what's wrong?" He could scent her tears and sense her sorrow.
"Perhaps it is a poor question to ask." He sat down beside her. "A poor question because I fear that I suspect the answer."
He looked up to the moon and closed his eyes, his ears lying back carelessly against his head. "No one should be alone...not in sorrows."
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
Re: Back to the Den
She sighed heavily, like it took effort for her to breathe at all.
"I miss him. It hard to remember how to breathe anymore. Like someone has taken the very air away. I had no idea it would be this hard. I would have died with him if I'd known. I should be dead anyways. I wasn't meant to live, and I seem too cheat death at the expensce of my heart."
Shame fell on her as she cried. She cried because she should have died, should have died and fought to live because he promised to live, too. He lied to her, he'd left her and she would be alone forever now.
"He is gone and I'll be alone forever, he lied to me. Did you know that? He promised, when the attack came, that he'd make it out and we would still be together. Its almost as if he left me for another, it hurts so much."
Re: Back to the Den
"There, there now...he couldn't have known...and if he died, it was noble and courageous of him...he could not have let you die with him anymore than you would have allowed it for him to die. It was not a lie...it was a promise he could not keep. He is still with you, Raven..."
He turned away, pretending for a minute that he did not feel stabbed at heart. "I am a liar, Raven...I failed my family when they needed me most...I swore to protect them...and I could not. I could not even lead them to safety..."
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
Re: Back to the Den
Raven shook her head. Not sure she had any right to comfort.
"Nobility, honor and courage be damned. He didn't have to stay there, he was free to come with me and be safe. The hunters were already dieing. He left me to kill the hunter that shot and hit me. He went for Revenage and he died, he promised me he'd never leave me, and he lied." she was caught between bitterness, anger and an all consumming sorrow.
When Idrian spoke she listened, and knowing it had to been a great obsticle to keep him from his word she said as much.
"Idrian, I've seen you, when no one is looking, whatever it was that stopped youi from doing what you vowed. It had to been a great thing," she tried to be helpful.
Re: Back to the Den
He gave her his best attempt at a reassuring smile, though his own heart broke for her sorrow. Were they not, at least somehow, alike in pain? Perhaps he had suffered so so that he could aid her...he could hope for such a happy lot, to console one who had felt such similar pain.
"I cannot excuse my failure. It took my pack from me. It took my mate, it took my pups, it took my friends and enemies alike...it took the very meaning from my life...but yet I was left.
I was overpowered, as was my family. And in spite of all of the preparation we had made to defend ourselves..." he choked slightly, but coughed, passing off the lump in his throat as a scratch to be dismissed.
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
She nudged him, knowing that sorrow was what took him. She sighed softly and looked out at the snow.
"Perhaps we need to let the pain go like the spring does. As winter comes the snow is white, pure, new. Maybe we need to give ourselves another chance?"
What a strange thing to say for one who missed a man, a wolf more then the very air she took in.
Re: Back to the Den
Idrian smiled at her again, rallying against his own sadness. To see this beam of hope in her did his own heart good, and he wagged his tail some in its slow sweeping arc level with his back.
"It's good to see hope in you, Raven. And you're right. The new fallen snow can teach us if it lets us...spring will come again soon, and with it an new year which we shall be able to rejoice in."
"Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, oh, hear!"
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