CC Vulture
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Posts: 39
(9/28/05 6:32 am)
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Coping With Suicide
Coping With Suicide
When I first ran the shower jet
over my cold, filthy skin again
and through my hair, I could only just
still smell her there.
Afterwards it dried curly, which brought
to mind my childhood photos
when everything was new, not straightened
by the marching years.
Standing naked, unemployed - I knew
my job had been refilled; you can't
leave a glass empty so long -
I bundled up the pillows I had
puked on, the duvet I had chewed;
shook off her leftover dust.
-----
Children we dreamed of making -
their names; their games.
Savings we planned on staking:
A roomy pine kitchen with
space to fit a fridge in;
shiny new handles to embolden,
make golden our inner doors;
tealight candles for our midnight balcony
in the house by the harbour,
where boats come in;
the bedroom,
a shell without a pearl.
-----
I've bought a book, "Coping With Suicide",
I'm keeping the page with
her last love letter. And I work
at the buffet on a Virgin train,
so I can go over and over those tracks,
her tracks, pick up her pieces.
A man comes by with the last of his change,
he sees the title; quickly
I cover it
but he looks with loss in his sparkless eyes,
smiles at me and spends his savings.
-----
Maybe, I wonder, he wrote the book,
maybe he can still smell her there;
or maybe he'll just write me a poem
while sipping his can of orange.
***
CCV
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