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MsAbsynthe
Given a Place at the table
Posts: 36
(2/2/06 8:16 am)
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 Flying out to see stepdad in convalescent home
Over the last 2 weeks, my stepfather has tailspinned; he was put into the hospital for 2 days, and when it was determined he wasn't getting better, they put him in the VA convalescent home. Shame this Veteran of WW2, Korean War has to pay for part of his care in the end - because Medicare won't cover it all, because he isn't getting better. I am furious, my mom can't pick him up, which is why he had to be checked in. She's 72, and threw her back out for a week!
The only real comfort he has, is his brother with Alzheimer's is across the hall; but he's beyond recognizing anyone.
My mother is not doing well, she had to make the funeral arrangements yesterday. He's becoming delusional over the last few days, in & out of lucidity. The doctors said his body is starting to shut down, like 10 - 15% a day. He was okay for a little bit, I took pics of the first rose in my garden, and all the budding plums, etc., and did a composite pic for him. He loved it. But then he called my 22 year old brother by my brother-in-law's name. He's also hallucinating living people in his room, when they aren't there.
Mom asked me to come out, so I'm leaving early Saturday morning. This is going to be my first flight since 9/11, and of course it's one of the carriers that was hijacked, but they had the only price we could afford. I'm very nervous, with one stop from here to the Midwest. My boyfriend was playing "Flight 93" again tonight, and I changed the channel, telling him no more of that! Then it hit him, doh.
We have wheelchairs waiting for me at all 3 airports, so the trip won't cause me my fibro to flare (we hope).
I'm flying out there to take care of my mom throughout this, and to be there for my stepdad. What I don't like is that my dad died within a month of this, 16 years ago...and my dad's birthday will happen while I'm there.
Please pray that my stepdad can enjoy his last days; the cancer has taken it's toll, he's losing over 1 1/2 pounds in weight a day now, he weighs 118; he used to weigh 260. I just want him to be lucid enough to know my mom is there, the adopted kids are seeing him nearly every day. I also hope he can hang on, until I get there; I'm leaving so early so I can be there for his dinner time.
- Julie
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earthnann
Child of the ancient schools
Posts: 111
(2/9/06 2:32 pm)
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Re: Flying out to see stepdad in convalescent home
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irisgoddess
Moderator
Posts: 258
(2/22/06 11:16 pm)
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Re: Flying out to see stepdad in convalescent home
I'll be thinking about you and you family and i will light a candle for you guys. I know its hard and yeah it hurts to watch them go but he has been sick for a long time he needs some peace now. I know it doesn't make you feel any better and i understand that but you have to think of all the things that you guys have done together and know that he will be too. I love ya and will be thinking of you.
Iris
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v27/gaiaangel/irislillytag.gif |
MsAbsynthe
Given a Place at the table
Posts: 36
(3/6/06 10:29 pm)
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 Re: Stepdad pased away
Thank you both.
I am glad I went to see him. I spent every day giving him energy, and told him it was to help him decide what to do. He had love & support. I had a week with him - before he passed away on my father's birthday, of all days. We had a beautiful full Military Dress funeral on Valentine's Day; it was hard on the soldiers, being such a special day, but they did the 21 gun salute and everything.
I did ask the Goddess for 3 good years last year for him; I just didn't realize that he had already spent those years. The doctors told us he lived 3 years longer than most people with his type of cancer, from sheer willpower.
He did spend Christmas with his daughters, while my mom was out here. He was doing well then, I'm so glad.
I am thankful that he didn't suffer, and was a delight to all the nursing staff. He chose to pass away with both his daughters, my mom & I in the room. I had told him he was safe, and not to be afraid, because nothing bad could happen to him now.
He's buried near my father, and my mom wishes to be buried somewhere between them someday. He was the love of her life, but she was the love of my dad's life. My dad actually liked my stepdad, so it was not hard on us. I do miss them both, but I imagine them laughing it up and telling stories back & forth now.
Thank you all who helped with the Prayer circle for him - it helped give him quality of life, and I am eternally greatful.
Blessed be,
Julie
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