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sillyway
eVisitor
Posts: 11
(1/30/03 12:22 pm)
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I am really bummed!
I have been reading all the posts on the lack of sex drive, and I feel I need to add my 2 cents. It is getting so bad that I am really getting depressed. Not because I miss the sex, but because I am fearful that I am the worst wife in the world!
My drive has always been low, so this really isn't a shock. What is hard is that when DH and I first got together, I committed to DTD at least 2 times a week. He would really like more, but that was our compromise. Now that I am pregnant, I can count the number of times we have had sex on one hand. I am only 10 weeks along! DH is trying to be really understanding and supportive, but I know that it is getting to him. The worst part is that I feel we are growing further apart each day. I know a lot of it is my fault, because I feel so guilty about not being able to fufill him, I am pulling away. The problem is, the farther apart we get, the less I feel like DTD! It doesn't help that the pg was unplanned and he is freaking out about it. It is turning into one vicious cycle. He is not supportive, so I don't want to be intimate. I don't want to be intimate, so he is less supportive. Is this ever going to end?
Sorry so long, I needed to vent to someone!!! Thanks!
Christine

anno7
eVisitor
Posts: 12
(1/31/03 6:43 pm)
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yep...
I understand fully about the no drive thing, and have started feeling bad about it too...especially since there are days when the smell sensitivity thing makes me gag at the smell of my dh's breath, which isn't even bad...so there is no dtd when i can't even stand to be in the same breathing space...
but ...have you thought about helping him out in other ways....you don't have to have actual sex to help him get some pleasure, but he will prob enjoy the attention.

I also find that sometimes it's the getting started that's the hardest part...and then once things get going, it's easier to be involved.

just my two cents....good luck.:eeks

mandalee65
eMagnificent
Posts: 1386
(1/31/03 8:28 pm)
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Re: yep...
Don't feel too bad. I had a very similar problem - prior to getting pg, I had hardly any sex drive at all. Sometimes I had to force myself to :dtd because I just wasn't interested.

At about 8 wks pg, we were put on pelvic rest, and that didn't help any either. Now I have to say that once I hit the 2nd trimester, my sex drive shot through the roof. I was hornier than I was on our honeymoon! Maybe you'll experience the same thing. Most people feel so much better during that 2nd trimester that sex becomes desirable again.

In the meantime - try to find other ways to please DH. When we were on pelvic rest, I would let him fondle me while he masturbated (sometimes I'd masturbate him). Be sure to be affectionate toward him - hugs & kisses go a long way, even if you don't feel like :dtd .

Let him know that you still care about him. Try to do little things to keep romance alive. It may seem like it, but it won't last forever. Before long you'll start to feel a little more like your old self, and it will get easier.

It's a boy!

Braeden James is due 4-2-03


30 weeks ~ Braeden @ 19 weeks

Jeff & Amanda married 6-5-99

mrsb234
eVisitor
Posts: 14
(3/4/03 4:36 pm)
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me too
hello,
There are days when I just don't want my DH to touch me and it is nothing against him it's just one of those days. Sometimes he wants it and I don't, I think it is funny that Anno posted that sometimes she can't stand the smell of her DH's breath!! That is me sometimes too! I mean he really doesn't have a problem it's just sometimes it makes me gag and I have to turn my head.
Anyways best wishes!!!!!
naomi
EDD-8/27

maryjane1
eTalker
Posts: 55
(4/18/03 2:42 pm)
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Re: I am really bummed!
I have to say.. about the breath thing... I'm the same way. My dh has even started carring breath mints in his pocket on a regular basis. He always has one in his mouth when he comes in the door after work just so he can kiss me hello. I feel really bad about it too but we have talked about it a lot and he has talked with other women friends of ours that have had children and he understands now that its a normal part of pregnancy and I really can't help it. And he feels much better that it not him its just something I can't control.

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