I think I need help
Hi everyone. I don't really know why I'm here. I should be over this by now. I had a m/c at 11 weeks back in December. I posted here a couple of times, thought I was doing better, but I'm really no better than I was back then. What is wrong with me? I m/c'd almost 4 months ago? Why can't I feel better? I suppose part of this is because my dh wants to start TTC again. This scares me more than I can tell you. I had an ectopic back in August, 1999 as well as this past m/c. I'm almost 38 years old. I just feel like the odds are stacked against me. I know I cannot live through another m/c. I'm just not strong enough. But I so desperately want another baby. I want my daughter to have a brother or sister. But if I have to go through another loss, I don't know how I'll get through it.
I don't even know why I'm posting here. I'm not really asking any questions, so I don't know how anyone could respond to this. I just feel like I have nobody to talk to. Everyone thinks I should be over this by now. I have a very good friend who is pregnant right now, and I am happy for her. I really am, but it HURTS! I don't think she understands how upset I still am. I try to hide my feelings about this now. Like I said, everybody tells me I should be over this by now. Maybe they're right.
NO you don't have to be over it by now. 4 months is not that long after you have lost your baby. I'm still not over my loss from October. I will never be completely over my loss. It is ok for you to still be grieving for the loss of your baby. Don't let anyone allow you to think otherwise. It is an up and down emotional rollercoaster. All of the feelings you are feeling are completely normal sweeite. Its ok to still hurt - Its ok to be afraid of TTC again. Its also hard to watch friends go through preganacy after just losing your baby. Its a hard time. I'm going through it now with my Best Friend. Its ok and normal to hurt from seeing her/talking with her. And your right - unless she has been through a loss - she don't really understand your feelings. IF you are close friends maybe you could talk with her about it. Let her know how you are feeling. Don't hide your feelings. Let them out.
Sending you a hug....
Just remember its ok to still feel the way you do.
Take care sweetie.
~Kari (21) DH Bradley (22) Married 5/4/02 Our Angel 10/25/02
Re: I think I need help
hi my name is beth i am 39 yo will be 40 in may and have a 13 yr old son and just gave birth to a bay girl 2 months early in frb. i to mc on xmas day last year and i still think about it t took me 7 months to conceive agin using opk and temp. i was scared the whole time . i to did not want my sibling to be an only child. i know it is hard but i thank god for my little girl .
only you will know when you are ready .me i nevre realized how much i wanted another bay untill i lost my baby. i hope this helps you i check the boards all the time for guidance as with out the help of these women i would be in a much sadder place.
Re: I think I need help
There is nothing wrong with you sweetie. I don't think that a loss is something that you ever get over, there will always be bumps in the road. In fact, after my first loss, I was clinically depressed for about 6 months!
I'm so you haven't had many reply, but we have actually moved! There is now no management here anymore so we decided to all move (as a group) to the new boards - all the forums are the same as this one and the whole group is over there!
Its ok to still hurt - Its ok to be afraid of TTC again. Its also hard to watch friends go through preganacy after just losing your baby. Its a hard time. I'm going through it now with my Best Friend. Its ok and normal to hurt from seeing her/talking with her. And your right - unless she has been through a loss - she don't really understand your feelings. IF you are close friends maybe you could talk with her about it. Let her know how you are feeling. Don't hide your feelings. Let them out. 
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