Marking time
Some time ago, I read in a biography of Virginia Woolf that she had, as a child, been shut up in her room for long periods of time. This confinement was meant as a sort of "cure" for what her parents considered her "disturbed nature".
In order to survive the ordeal of not being able to interact with other people or go outside in the sunlight, she began to keep journals. When later asked about the journals and writing, she stated that they were her way of making certain she existed and had existed the previous unremarkable days of her captivity. She marked time in this way to prove to herself that she existed.
Does anyone have routines that remind themselves of their own existence? Patterns of behavior or one time experiences designed to remind you that you're alive?
Is this perhaps, part of the cause of all semi voluntary routines? (I'm not talking about work here for the moment). Could they be the mind's way of seeking out a rhythm in which one can see/mark one's own existence?
Re: .
I would think that sort of reaction is a direct result of the confinement she endured. For most people (or at least for me) that reminder comes in so many forms - and mostly through the interaction I have with other people.
fluttersby
Wanderer Intervention and Flow
Posts: 68
(2/25/02 1:37 am) Reply
do I exist?
Very interesting. I have very few external records of my past existence. I don't even have many pictures. Sometimes I wish I had more, so that I could have a better grasp of my history. I have tons of little scraps of paper carrying thoughts I once had, though I rarely ever do anything with them. On the rare occasion that I do peruse them, I usually find them uninteresting or non-sensical. Other times, the scraps turn into conversations with friends or posts on a forum. I find more pleasure in them when they turn into more meaningful communications with other people, as opposed to just records of my existence. I imagine if I was deprived of contact with other people, I would find it necessary to talk to myself quite a bit more than I already do. In that situation, those scraps of paper would be a lot more valuable to me. As it is, I usually just throw them away after they've accumulated to the point of becoming a mess.
One thing I think I do to verify that I exist is communicate--with myself or with other people. Buying things is also a way of doing that, too. I know I exist, because I have the new Beastie Boys CD. Possessions define us, thereby validating that we do in fact exist.
Edited by: Wanderer at: 2/25/02 1:46:17 am
Quote: Possessions define us, thereby validating that we do in fact exist.
Have we succumbed to the capitalist machine, there, Wanderer?
I think the accumulation of possessions may be more about a desire to create a sense of stability or control. The selection process and level of consumption translates directly into a sort of identity.
With communication -either that which can be retained as proof of past existence (journal) or that which cannot (conversation), it's more a sense of finding a "self" in connection to the world (or finding a world with which the self can interact and thereby prove itself).
Your comment reminds me of the Isabella Stuart Gardner house in Boston. Gardner was a wealthy patroness of the arts with far more money than was good for one person. Her house (now a museum) is so chock a block full of various extremely expensive gewgews, paintings, knicknacks, sculptures, etc that all of them loose their individual beauty and become more about the way a woman with far too much money than was good for her asserted her existence and assuaged whatever within her was lacking.
In other words, to me, journal, posting, conversation, creation is like a grouping of tendrils testing the outside waters.
Collecting/aquiring is the snail that wanted the biggest...(s)hell. (Anyone read that book as a child? I swear it was written by a socialist...)
Wanderer Intervention and Flow
Posts: 69
(3/17/02 3:40 am) Reply
posessions
Ah, the capitalist machine is hard to avoid. When I made that comment about using commodities to verify our existence, I was speaking about people in general, not me in particular. Of course, I do fall victim to that machine on occasion, though I may be more conscious of that process than the general population.
Quote: I think the accumulation of possessions may be more about a desire to create a sense of stability or control. The selection process and level of consumption translates directly into a sort of identity.
I agree, though I would also add that commodities, to some extent or another, are usually packaged with a pre-established identity, or set of possible identifiers. When I buy product x, I am to some extent buying a prepackaged identity. This is most obvious in clothing, where the product name is displayed in large letters across our chests. I am "GAP." (Not me, personally, of course. I don't like to wear clothes that advertise themselves.)
Quote: With communication -either that which can be retained as proof of past existence (journal) or that which cannot (conversation), it's more a sense of finding a "self" in connection to the world (or finding a world with which the self can interact and thereby prove itself).
I also agree here, though I wouldn't make a sharp distinction between the two processes you are describing. I think interaction is the key. Commodities can often act as buffers in personal interactions. I would even hypothesize that all commodities are functional buffers, creating walls and safety zones between people. In a sense, buying clothes is part of a conversation.
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