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Gaia Angel 
She who Dreams with Dolphins
Posts: 1110
(4/2/04 8:18 am)
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Telling you Parents your path
I have recently approved a few teens so am starting this thread for them, however, i suppose anyone could use the information if the need should arise.
The steps to coming out of the broom closet:
1) be prepared: print out the exerpts of the usa chaplins handbook regarding wicca and earth based paths. Look at the anti defamation sites, print the wiccan rede, the 13 goals of a witch, any thing positive and enlightening you can find.
2) Argue intelligently: No matter how angry THEY get, YOU be more mature. Use the words, I disagree, not your wrong! this is not a time to be veiwed as an emotional mess.
3) Read the bible: look for passages they will likely use to prove you wrong and research rebuttals and intelligant arguements for them.
4) Bear in mind they are your parents: parents never want less then the best for their children...remember this and try to understand that the popular beleif is christianity is what is best.
5) explain the differance between a coven and a solitary and promise to practice solitary for a certain amount of time and let THEM pick the length. Most parents will worry that you are being led astray rather then charting your own path. make it clear you are serious and that you have came to this decision yourself... and that you CAN change your mind! Many parents run under the beleif touted in the 1980s that paganism is a life long choice... you try to leave you die or are murdered... more printouts dispelling this myth helps also.
6) Invite them here to ask questions of the more mature witches on the board. And answer and question thread and an information chat can easily be set up.
whatever you do REMAIN calm! Even if your grounbded or punished remain calm! No its not fair but again, they honestly love you unconditionally, and one of the hardest things to accept is your childs own identity!
if anyone notes something i missed that may help please feel free to add.
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shammala
New Student/Teachers Apprentice
Posts: 23
(4/2/04 1:01 pm)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
That was really good Gaia,
I forget sometimes that alot of people do still have closed minds on the perception of Spirituality,Thank You for reminding me I work with teenagers on Native Teachings,fortunately the parents were highly curious,themselves,and often participated in the Gatherings,which of course helps them to relate better to each other.
I think another one would be if your are confronted,tell them that you are not out to change their minds about their beliefs,and if anything they should respect your right to choose,their are many paths to the Mystery,and all should be respected.
Shammala
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Gaia Angel
She who Dreams with Dolphins
Posts: 1111
(4/2/04 3:21 pm)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
Ya know Shammala, there, to , is a very valid point. Most Adults will show curiosity in native american culture, yet close their hearts and ears to Paganism in general and wicca. They totally miss the massive amounts in common the two cultures have. A list of similarities of the two, where native culture DOES have a little brighter light shown on it, may also help. Kind of like pointing to a rose and pointing out the similarities in an american beauty and a lady jane.
I have done this numerous times explaining my path to friends.
Thanks for the light bulb love!
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Gr8Goddess 
Goddess Of Mothers... She of the loving hand
Posts: 219
(4/2/04 7:15 pm)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
I had a HORRIBLE time coming out as a witch with my mother. She just didn't understand that this was the path I chose...
I'm sorry....I just had to say that...
Do not meddle in the affairs
of cats, for they are subtle
and will piss on your computer.
Nor meddle in the affairs of
dragons, for you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup.
We do not require you to believe. Just don't interfere |
Scoty girl
The Crystal Angel
Posts: 205
(4/2/04 9:34 pm)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
Gaia....what was before Christianity???? Maybe a few closed minded people in this world, should go learn a history lesson!!
~Often times, the greatest statements are made in silence....
Listen with your heart!~
Scotygirl |
Gaia Angel
She who Dreams with Dolphins
Posts: 1118
(4/3/04 7:55 am)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
Also very valid scoty thatnk you , virtually every culture at one point had a culture that would have been termed pagan. Christianity has its roots in the middle east... as does the muslim culture and judisim. Making a list of pre christian religions and proveing that christianity was NOT the first in any culture may help as well, however, use tact while doing this. We parents so love to be right and to accuse their religion as spreading like a disease is very very bad PR. Like Scoty said, create a history lesson.
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Gaia Angel
She who Dreams with Dolphins
Posts: 1119
(4/3/04 7:58 am)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
And someone please whack Mandas smart ass   rotten butt
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Akuma Kijin
Village Visitor
Posts: 4
(5/24/04 5:59 pm)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
I recently told my own mother about my belifes, it probab ly could have went better when I first told her. However now she is fine with. In fact me and her have discussions about the differences and similarities between our two religions. they are rather interesting discussions to say the least.
my fater on the other hand  he's gonna be a bit more of a problem. even me using all the advice given (which I plan to. its really good) he is going to go sky high as it were. He hates anything that is different from him. He will never admit it but he is the most racest man I have ever met. But any way that was my little rant about my experience.
~Sam
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Gaia Angel
Cranky Hedge Witch
Posts: 1408
(5/27/04 6:06 am)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
Anything different, that causes one to not only think but to question their beleifs on what they know to be fact is always bound to get a rise. My parents are still hoping after all these years that Gaianism is just a phase...and my husband says pretty much the same thing. But I am of the mind that hiding what you are does nothing but project the aura that there is something TO hide. I think most parents want to KNOW their children...no matter how angry it makes them. But in cases where it can cause irreversable rifts, its really a matter of your own judgement. I know a teen whos father is the preacher at the babtist church up the road. Coming out to him would insure being disowned. She called me this week (on advice from a friend hers and a child i have known almost her whole life) upset that she feels she has to lie... she felt she couldnt fullfill one of the 13 goals of a witch. I personally do not see it as lieing, merely omitting to speak a difference of opinion that could cause harm therefore causeing you to go against the advice of the rede .
Im not sure how helpfull this is in general, but I think (and is what i told her) that were you to voice your beleifs in casual conversation. (Like with the sentiance of trees, pro life pro choice, belief that astrology may be valid ect.) if there comes a time when they find out or you tell them, you can say "But you kind of already knew my beleifs were very different didnt you? How can this suprise you?"
This is one of those tricky topics where the best course is generally to break it gently but firmly but to also assess risk of personal injuries and repercussions before doing so. (I know of a local girl who was grounded for nearly a year and received a severe beating after coming out to her father...when he finally allowed her some privacy and she again began walking her own path he disowned her at age 14 after yet another beating and placed her in one of our areas strictest catholic group homes...nuns ,thrice daily prayer services the whole bit) I would have NEVER reccomended she come out to her parents as I know her father.
But, some parents may suprise you...we have a couple witch moms (and a dad) on the board, it may be best if they shared how their childern told them and how they dealt with it, what information they had to know or what they did know that helped them deal with it. I strongly beleive the most amazing moms are the ones who come to me and say "My child is a witch, now what do I do and how can I keep him/her safe?" for these are the parents who reconize their childs need for uniquenss and to chart their own destiny while not letting go of the animal urge to protect and nurture their young. There are many resources you can use...but only if you feel it necessary. Like I said, we dont require coming out but strongly urge you to....ultimately not unlike sexuality, the privacy and who to share it with is your own choice, and will always be respected within these walls
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lauriex
Waiting for a name!!
Posts: 42
(5/27/04 8:56 am)
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Re: Telling you Parents your path
makes sense, gaia...
when l told my mom, or rather asked what she'd do, she pretty much told me that if l was (l hadn't really made the decsion yet, tho l was thinking about it), l could find my own place to live, and forget about them... my dad'd do the same thing, if he knew l think, but he already did that, lol...
laurie.
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