The Return (Curlan)
Alaren’s eyes opened with a start, her shift drenched with sweat and her heart pummeling rapidly against the inside of her chest. The images of her nightmare still burned inside her mind. She had watched Saker die a hundred times in her sleep, tonight and every night she had spent in the swordsman’s cabin, and for a moment she believed herself to be there still, tucked away into the mountains, alone and with Saker gone forever.
But then she saw the four-poster bed, the changing screen and the vanity, and she remembered. She was in the palace at Manetheren, and tomorrow she would be crowned Queen. Her eyes closed in relief. It was a dream, and nothing more. Saker was alive, sleeping peacefully not a hundred feet away, and she would see him in the morning. There was no reason why she should not fall back asleep for the night, but she knew she would not. She still shook with the terror of her dream and wanted desperately to escape her tangled blankets.
Pulling herself out of the twisted sheets, she slipped on her robe and slippers and walked towards the door that connected her room to Saker’s. Her hand rested on it, but she did not open it. Light, how much she wanted the comfort of his arms, the surety of his presence! But the door remained closed. It’s not fair to him, she thought to herself. Besides, she could not bring herself to disturb his sleep. So instead she gently covered the bond in her mind, as though concealing it with a handkerchief, and walked out the other door.
Her feet led her out of the palace, down the main street of the town and away from the city’s center. She had no destination in mind when she left the palace, so Alaren was surprised to realize that, after a short while, she was standing at the edge of a pond; the same pond where she had spotted Saker just three days before.
The sound of the waterfalls cut through the midnight silence, and the glowing moon reflected peacefully off of the water. Alaren felt herself relax. Here, she could think clearly, free her mind of the fears that plagued her.
She walked down the slope to the bottom-most pool, one tier below where Saker had been standing. It was smaller than the rest, with the waterfall cascading into the center and water so clear that Alaren could see the bottom even in the center. The water seemed shallow. Alaren slipped off her shoes and shed her robe, and stepped into the crystalline water. It was cool, but not cold, and felt lovely against her sweat-coated skin. She waded into the water until it came to her waist, and then let herself lean backwards, allowing herself to be entirely supported by the water below her. Her eyes closed, and she felt the water playing with her hair and her shift clinging to her skin.
For an hour or so she floated there, listening to the steady sound of the falls and enjoy the cool water, but suddenly she felt uncomfortable, as though someone were watching her. She stood up in the pool and listened into the darkness.
“Who’s there?” she demanded, automatically grasping for the Source. She let it fill her, feeling her senses heighten. She saw no one, but she felt eyes on her. Someone was there. “Who’s there?” she repeated into the night. “Show yourself!”
He had just barely spotted her leaving as he was coming into the city. It had been a wonderful hunt with his brothers, and now he was ready to rest.
Untill he saw her walking out into the woods by herself. Curlan knew she was Aes Sedai and more then able to take care of herself, but he would hate to see Manetheran loose it's queen only a day after she had been brought back. And so he did what any good scout would do.....he followed her.
It wasn't hard to do, as she wasn't paying much attention. Though he wasn't sure what to do as she stripped down for a swim. He diverted his eyes enough to be proper, but still kept an eye out for danger.
Her voice calling out to him worried him more then a little. At first he thought he had been found, but with the way she stared around wildly, he knew she didn't see him. He stayed concealed, hoping she would calm down, or at least cloth herself. He would come down if she clothed herself.
Re: The Return (Curlan)
When no one responded, Alaren frantically swam out of the water, channeled her shift dry and pulled on her robe. Who in the Light would be out here in the woods, and why would they be watching her? She considered uncovering the Bond, but decided against it as she channeled a ball of light into her hand, shining it brightly into the surrounding wilderness and spotting a man watching her cautiously from the shadows.
He was one of Saker’s men, Curlan, if she remembered his introduction correctly. The same man who had discovered her and Saker when they had been reunited just three days before. She was angry for a moment, but then she remembered how calmly Saker had responded to Curlan’s message, how he had not seemed surprised at the other man’s presence. If Saker had not been alarmed, then perhaps she should trust the man also. So instead, she put on a mask of serenity and approached the man that was hidden among the trees.
“Master Curlan,” she said, addressing him clearly. He looked startled. “Tell me, sir. Do you often observe this part of the woods in the middle of the night? Or are we merely victims of coincidence?
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan bowed his head, partly out of respect, partly to hide his golden eyes. As much as he reveared his Queen, he still feared Aes Sedai finding out what he was.
"I simply go where I am need Milady," Curlan said with a sheepish grin. "Do you generally go out swimming this late at night? If so, I will make a point to sleep more during the day. I would hate to see Manetheren loose her Queen so soon after she has been found."
Curlan glanced down at the arrow he held in his hand. It looked bad, but he wasn't about to put it back in the quiver. He may not be as good as Lord Saker, but he wasn't about to make himself any worse off in a fight.
Re: The Return (Curlan)
"I simply go where I am need Milady," The man said, avoiding her eyes. “Do you generally go out swimming this late at night? If so, I will make a point to sleep more during the day. I would hate to see Manetheren loose her Queen so soon after she has been found.”
Alaren pulled her robe tighter about her defiantly. So he was here to protect her, was he? As though she were not capable of protecting herself? As though she did not have her own Warder to watch her back?
“I am not a Green, child,” she insisted icily. “I have no need for more than one Warder. I am not incompetent, and where I lack, my Gaidin compensates quite fully.” But yet, here she was, alone in the wilderness, her mind drifting and the bond blocked. She realized suddenly how foolish she was. Someone could have snuck up on her quite easily; after all, Curlan had. Her desire for solitude had overcome her common sense, and she suddenly felt quite silly.
“Listen,” she said with a sudden and unprecedented sincerity. “You must not tell Saker that you found me here. I did not want to disturb him. I just… I could not sleep, and needed some time to think. That’s all. I know you have loyalties to him, but… it would only make him worry. I just needed to think, you understand? Promise me you’ll not tell.”
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan shrugged and turned back towards Manetheren. The less time he directly faced an Aes Sedai, the better. Besides, he was still looking for things.
"I have nothing to say until I am asked Milady," Curlan said softly. "Nothing happened here and Lord Saker rarely asks me about my nights unless I'm scouting."
Her first words had been meatn to cut him, but all they big was raise the hair on the back of his neck. He could feel anger rise in him and he had to say something.
"However, if you think you will cow me with harsh words and keep me from doing what I do, you've a thing or two to learn about me. And if you think your foolishness of actions is simply erased because you are my Queen, you have a lot to learn about life."
He turned his head and gave her a cold icy stare under the full moon. It was all he could do to keep a growl down.
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan turned away again, and Alaren felt her eyebrows raise. There was something strange about this young man... something she could not put her finger on.
"I have nothing to say until I am asked Milady. Nothing happened here and Lord Saker rarely asks me about my nights unless I'm scouting." Alaren nodded in thanks, but Curlan's back was still turned. She was not sure exactly why she did not want Saker to know that she had been out tonight... she only knew that the thought of him knowing made her want to jump back into the pond. Part of her wished she had just gone to him back at the room, and part of her wished she had run even further. The endless conflict in her mind gave her a headache.
"However," Curlan continued, "If you think you will cow me with harsh words and keep me from doing what I do, you've a thing or two to learn about me. And if you think your foolishness of actions is simply erased because you are my Queen, you have a lot to learn about life."
"And you, child," Alaren replied, instantly and serenely, her Aes Sedai composure effectively concealing her anger. "Have much to learn about respect! Remember your place; You have no right to dabble in an Aes Sedai's affairs! If I..."
Her voice trailed off suddenly as Curlan looked her directly in the eye with a pointed stare. The blatant heat of his glare would have angered her under any other circumstances, but that was not what caught her attention. His eyes were golden yellow, glowing eerily through the darkness.
"Light," she began concernedly, compelled by her instincts as a Healer. "Light, Curlan, are you well?"
But as she watched the way he stood, eyeing her dangerously, and she realized that he was. She had read about this, once; it had not been a reputable book, and she had not given it much consideration, but he showed the signs. Saker had called him his best scout... he had seen them here days before from a long distance... he had followed her here without her knowing... and his eyes were bright yellow in the moonlight. Perhaps it could be true.
Alaren Maidon
Bonded to Saker Mandell
Raekal RP Admin Band OL King of Manetheren
Posts: 204
(6/7/06 10:50 am) Reply
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Saker woke abruptly in the night. It was cool in the room, the night's breeze filling the room through the open windows, stars sparkling faintly outside. He sat up quickly on the edge of his bed. He wasn't sure what had woke him . . . he had been in a dreamless sleep--a rare gift, and was mildly irratated by the fact that something had pulled him from it
He looked around the room a bit before he rose to his feet. Clad only in a pair of linen sleeping pants, he ran a hand through his hair, pulling it back from his eyes before it clicked in his mind.
The bond . . . he could feel it, yes, but it was muffled, muted. She had covered it again! Feeling anger and irratation arise at the fact, for he had THOUGHT things better, he went around the corner of his bed, straight to the door between their rooms. He knew before he opened it however that she was not inside. Although the bond was muffled, yes, he still had a vague general understanding of where she was, and it was coming from behind him. He pulled the door open regardless and looked at the rumpled sheets for a few moments, trying to determine what to do. Go after her, or wait for her to come back? Bloody woman! How she made his head spin in frustration sometimes!
(Raekal Dunshain) -- First Stormleader Asha'man Bonded to Brenna Selanos (Saker Mandell) -- King of Manetheren (Seia Vron) -- Asha'man (Tristan Du'saa) -- Gaidin in Training (Kerin Lizaile) -- Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan turned his head back to looking around rather then glaring at her. If she knew anything about respect herself, she wouldn't be out and asking him to keep silent on her secret outings.
"I'm quite fine Milady, but it has been a long night and I wish to go to bed. If you wish to stand out here all night, please say so, but you looked like you were nearly ready to return yourself."
Curlan barely kept his muttering back, agrivated by the woman's action. He wondered if she had always treated Saker this way. If so, it must be infuriating to be a Warder and bound to another.
He'd likely catch an earful about this in the morning. Right now he didn't care.
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Alaren frowned as Curlan averted her eyes once more. You have your secrets, she thought to herself. Let him keep his own. But curiosity had softened her attitude.
Curlan, on the other hand, seemed to have grown in irritation. His voice was more than laced with aggrivation. "I'm quite fine Milady, but it has been a long night and I wish to go to bed. If you wish to stand out here all night, please say so, but you looked like you were nearly ready to return yourself."
Alaren glanced sadly over Curlan's shoulder, staring off blankly into the wilderness. She did not want to return to the palace yet; even the thought of returning to her room seemed oppressive. In her room, she would be overwhelmed by her thoughts; she needed more time to sort through them. But the sky was shifting to the colors of early morning hours, and she would need her strength tomorrow. She blinked suddenly and met Curlan's yellow eyes again, sharpness replacing the sadness in her own.
"Whether you stay or leave," she said, adjusting her robe unnecessarily, "is up to you. I did not ask you to stay here. You could have left whenever you wished. My actions should not dictate yours." Yet she grabbed her slippers and slipped them onto her feet. "I shall return now, for my own sake." She would not return simply because he wanted to leave. Her reasons were her own. She set about heading back up the path quite pointedly, perhaps less gracefully than she might have, but after a few strides she turned back. Curlan still stood where he had before. With a sigh, she walked back towards him and rested a hand on his arm.
"Thank you, Curlan," she said gently. "For your watch, and your silence."
She turned, gathering her skirts, and walked back towards the city.
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan snorted in disgust and then took back to the woods, still watching her move back on towards town. What would he do if Saker asked him about tonight? He would do what he always did and report what he found.
He prayed that Saker didn't ask.
His thoughts ran back to the hunt, running with his brothers, silently through the woods. He was able to steer them away from the cattle lately, and he hoped that the farmers would be glad. Mostly it was for the wolves safty.
There were murmurs of trouble from the packs near the blight. It was beginning to stir again. Not that it had stopped, but it was more now then before. The reports always trouble Curlan. The Band would ride again, of that he was sure.
The only question in Curlan's mind was how much longer he could ride himself.
Alaren took a roundabout way to get back to the palace, hoping to clear her head fully before returning to her rooms, but her encounter with Curlan had only jarred her nerves further. She sighed as she snuck down the deserted streets of Manetheren, resigning herself to a night of anxiety and sleeplessness.
She reentered the palace as quietly as she could, making her way up the marble staircases and finally stumbling upon her own door. Opening the door quietly so as not to disturb Saker’s sleep, she slipped inside and shut the door reluctantly behind her. She was about to unblock the bond and climb back into bed when she collided quite forcefully with something very tall, which, after her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, she concluded to be her Warder. Her very angry Warder. The cover slipped from the bond, and she could feel his irritation pulsing furiously through it. She knew he could sense her own irritation, though it was not directed at him, but she did her best to maintain her calm. She had nothing to be ashamed of! Warder or not, he did not need to know of every move she made! He had no right to be angry at her… of course not! She channeled flame into the room’s lanterns, so that they could clearly see one another. Saker’s eyes shone sleepily underneath his furrowed brow and tousled hair; Alaren realized suddenly that her own hair was still wet and channeled it dry.
“Saker,” she said coolly, ignoring his disheveled state and the peculiarity of their circumstances. “I did not expect to find you here.”
Alaren Maidon
Bonded to Saker Mandell
Raekal RP Admin Band OL King of Manetheren
Posts: 208
(6/10/06 11:29 am) Reply
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Saker paced the room a few times, his frustration slowly turning into anger. And then into more anger. Until he was boiling with it. How dare she up and leave? There was so much hanging on the tomorrow, and here she was . . . off wandering around like a loon! He sat, forcing himself to cool down. He was sure there was a reasonable explanation. There had to be . . . right?
But then . . . if there was one . . . why in the bloody hell had she muffled the bond? She was obviously worrying about this very situation, and all that did was begin the frustration process over.
He was still sitting there, going through the loop of calm to frustrated, frustrated to angry, and then back to calm . . . when the door opened. He stood and moved swiftly into her path, moving with all the grace of the bladesmaster that he was, and allowed himself a small twinge of satisfaction when she ran into him. He didn't move, standing there with his eyes focused on hers. She lit the candles in the room-he didn't even blink. Anger was slowly rising back up within him once more. He noted her wet hair before she rid herself of it and felt his control over his anger slip just a tad. He had not cracked, not broken, not once, since Tear. Now would be a bad time to do so out of the blue, be believed.
“Saker. I did not expect to find you here.”
Her too-cool voice mixed in with the absurdness of the statement made that control crack. Just a little . . . but it was the first time in a long time and it filled Saker with rage. Just that little crack! He couldn't even remember how it felt to lose total control . . .
"I did not expect to wake up and find the Queen of Manetheren missing, Aes Sedai." He said, his voice low, surprisinly . . . but burning with scalding sarcasm. "May I fetch you something now so you succumb to another whim? Or does your safety begin to concern you, and you wish to sleep now?" Leaving him behind . . . out wandering the city . . . anything could have happened! Sure she was Aes Sedai, but Aes Sedai had Warders for a reason! She, of all people, should know the dangers of the world. She was smarter than this! Blood and bloody ashes . . .
(Raekal Dunshain) -- First Stormleader Asha'man Bonded to Brenna Selanos (Saker Mandell) -- King of Manetheren (Seia Vron) -- Asha'man (Tristan Du'saa) -- Gaidin in Training (Kerin Lizaile) -- Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Alaren felt her skin crawl with anger at Saker’s insolent sarcasm. A whim! What did he know about her whims? About her reasons? He could not even begin to understand her motives, and it was most certainly not his place to question them! As though she was not entitled to a walk by herself, as though she should report her every action to him! SHE was the Aes Sedai, not he! What right did he have to address her so?
“Hold your tongue,” she snapped, her attempts at Aes Sedai composure futile in the wake of her anger. She had a vague inclination that perhaps her emotions were out of proportion to the situation, but she could not control the waves of fury that stormed through her. Her hands shook. “You are my Gaidin, not my keeper. I am entirely capable of ensuring my own safety, which you so hastily assume was disregarded, and I will seek your assistance when and only when I see fit. I am not obligated to report to you on ever move I make! How dare you criticize me? Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps there are things which I would prefer to keep to myself? A Warder is not entitled to every detail of his Aes Sedai’s existence!”
She was yelling, she realized, hardly appropriate behavior for an Aes Sedai even in the privacy of her own room, but she did not care and she could not control it. She had drawn herself up to a pose at which kings of any height would cower, yet she still felt Saker towering over her. She felt small, and her voice had risen to compensate.
“You have no right to judge me,” she finished, her voice lowered to a heated growl. “You must respect that there are things that I cannot share even with you!”
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Curlan sighed as he sat down on his bed, pulling off his boots and hoping to sleep in late. Saker rarely bothered him after his nights out, though tonight was odd all around, so he wouldn't be suprised to find Saker kicking in his door in the morning.
Suddenly, from Saker's end of the castle, Curlan ncould hear the sounds of yelling. He doubted anyone else could hear the sounds, but it was clear as a bell to him.
He pulled off his shirt, trying to ignore it. It didn't work real well, so he took to examining his scarred shoulder. It was whole enough, but he knew that arrow had mangled it earlier that year. He could feel it glitch from time to time.
And still the yells of anger from down the hall carried on.
Raekal RP Admin Band OL King of Manetheren
Posts: 214
(7/8/06 5:41 pm) Reply
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Saker blinked. In the bit of comfort that his words had brought him, her own anger had completely befuddled him. She had . . . secrets? Everyone had secrets! Blood and bloody ashes! The woman was stark raving mad!! And yet . . . something itched under his skin. He wanted--no needed--to know the source of such anger, such passion. He had a right to be mad at her, and she at him, yes, but . . . there was something hidden behind what she spoke that drove him to the edge of sanity with curiousity.
"You? Report things to me? Never. Did I say once that I had to know you were gone? Bloody hell woman! Open your eyes! You are a QUEEN now! You have responsibilities not only to your people, but to yourself! To me," he finished, the last coming out weaker than the rest. "If something were to happen to you when you were out walking alone, what would happen to me? What would happen to Manetheren, so joyful now that she has her Queen? Light! You take everything I have ever given you and cast it back in my face with scorn!"
He turned away from her. He was shouting now too. His own words had opened an old wound in his heart. She had rejected his love before, and this was too like that. He had a duty and an obligation to her, to Manetheren, to himself. He did his utmost best to uphold all three. And when she made light of one of them--his oath to serve and protect her--she reminded him of that . . . casting back what he had to give her, as if it meant nothing, was nothing . . .
He spun back around. "No more will I tolerate this. You want to be your own person so badly? Then go! Do what you want! You don't want to be here? Then leave again!" he turned away, walking towards the door to his room briskly. He stopped as he grasped the knob, turning back to face her one last time for the night. He sighed, forcing his voice to lower, even though anger and pain mingled within him still. "Why do you always run away from everything that means something to you?"
(Raekal Dunshain) -- First Stormleader Asha'man Bonded to Brenna Selanos (Saker Mandell) -- King of Manetheren (Seia Vron) -- Asha'man (Tristan Du'saa) -- Gaidin in Training (Kerin Lizaile) -- Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Re: The Return (Curlan)
“Because I love you, ok?” Alaren blurted out angrily, without full realization of what she was saying. In his response, she had become so upset that her mind had gone entirely numb. It was not until the words had escaped her lips that she understood the true significance of what she had said. You just told him you loved him, you idiot. But before she could pull her heated tongue into check, the deepest crevices of her heart were being purged through word vomit, and she could only watch in horror as her soul was mercilessly bared.
“Because I love you! Because for every day I spend with you, I’ve spent a dozen nights afraid of losing you. Because all I have ever done is hurt you and I’ve hated it! Because I need you and I know I need you and it scares me that I need you! Because every time we’re together I have to worry that you’ll kiss me, because…-” she inhaled sharply- “because I know I won’t try to stop you. Light Saker, you terrify me! You make me so weak, and yet I am only strong when I am with you! I have spent my entire life trying to find my own strength, fighting for self-sufficiency. But you… Light! When I thought you were dead, I wanted nothing more than to be dead with you, so that I could be with you again. You have no idea how terrifying it is to need someone so much! And here I am, an Aes Sedai, and at the first little nightmare, I want to come running to you like a child! ‘To love is to be destroyed, and to be loved is to be the destroyer.’ I cannot afford to be weak. I needed…. I can’t…”
Alaren trailed off, breathing as though she had just run a mile, her knees weak as she met Saker’s unreadable eyes. The bond resounded with shock, both hers and his. She felt naked, vulnerable, with no mask to hide behind. She was a master of masks, of control. The truth- not an Aes Sedai truth, but the whole truth- shattered everything she had built for herself. And there they were, the pieces, lying there in the open in pitiful ruin before the one man she had worked so hard to hide them from. It was more than she could bear. She felt absolutely ridiculous, and she suddenly knew she needed to get away.
She pulled her robe tight around her, her last attempt to conceal her secrets, and padded swiftly past Saker and through the door, pulling it quickly shut behind her. She fell back against the door, her eyes closed, tears leaking from them, soaking in the blissful solitude of the corridor.
Until she opened her eyes to the sight of tousled blankets and a sword propped against the wall.
She groaned in despair.
She was not in the corridor; she had barricaded herself inside Saker’s bedroom.
Raekal RP Admin Band OL King of Manetheren
Posts: 217
(7/8/06 7:38 pm) Reply
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Saker blinked. And then he blinked again. And yet again. Had she . . . had she . . . no . . . that wasn't really Alaren at all, was it?! He felt tempted to peek through the door and see, make sure it really was her, but then again . . . wait a second! She was in his room!! And he was in hers! What the bloody hell . . .? He was more confused right then than he had ever been in his life. He had been given what he had always wanted . . . and now he had no idea what he was supposed to DO with it. Or her. She was surely upset . . . Light, but Saker never knew what to do with anything these days. When it came to women, that was.
Slowly, he opened the door and stepped through. Alaren had her back against the wall and was staring at his bed like she'd never seen one before. He considered just tossing her onto it and seeing how much resistance she put up . . . but if what she said was true, she'd never put up any . . . she was afraid of what she wanted, but she wanted it . .
Afraid of being weak. Afraid of showing love? How was love weak? Love . . . love gave Saker his strength to fight for her. The will to move on, to ignore the pain. He found strength buried within his passion, and he used it. He had come a very long ways on love . . . he had no reason to stop now.
He stepped over in front of her, placing one hand on her shoulder and with his other tipped her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. He swallowed hard, trying to decide what to say, trying to push the thought of tossing her on the bed out of his mind, or just kissing her right there. Though . . . the latter did sound good . . . she was a very beautiful woman, and being in such proximity was intoxicating . . .
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I made you feel this way. Had I known, known that you were so scared . . . I would never have pushed it. I never wanted you to feel this vulnerable. That's why I'm here. To protect you from what you can't fight. But I can't protect you from your own heart." He paused, searching for words. There had to be words! "I love you, Alaren. I wish I didn't cause you this pain, I wish I could take it away, and I wish I could make you feel alright about everything. I wish I could stand in front of you and shield you from it, fight it with a sword, anything . . . I'm not good at talking. I'm good at fighting, and I know I'm not making any sense, but . . . I think . . . that if you give yourself a chance, an opportunity to love . . . you'll see that it's not so bad. It's not scary. There's a lot that's good about it." He swallowed. He wasn't making sense at all and he knew it. His mind was fifty yards behind his mouth, staring at the words pouring out, and screaming at him to shut up.
Resting both hands on her shoulders, he stammered for a moment, looking for something else to say, something to make it better, something to make it alright for her . . . and found nothing. He wanted to kiss her but held back--he was afraid of chasing her away, shooing her back into her cocoon, and didn't want her to walk away from him right now, with things the way they were. "I . . . I'm . . . sorry. I love you."
(Raekal Dunshain) -- First Stormleader Asha'man Bonded to Brenna Selanos (Saker Mandell) -- King of Manetheren (Seia Vron) -- Asha'man (Tristan Du'saa) -- Gaidin in Training (Kerin Lizaile) -- Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Alaren drew her eyes away from his, not so much an effort to withdraw herself as an absent-minded gesture; she did not deserve to meet those eyes, despite the comfort she found in them. After all she had done that night, the stupidity of her actions, her harsh accusations, he was still treating her with kindness and understanding. Part of her wished he would just yell at her again. Yelling she understood; this was entirely foreign to her.
“I'm not good at talking. I'm good at fighting, and I know I'm not making any sense, but . . . I think . . . that if you give yourself a chance, an opportunity to love . . . you'll see that it's not so bad. It's not scary. There's a lot that's good about it.”
Good? In love? All Alaren had ever known in love was pain. With her father, and mother, and Arigan and Saker… But with Saker it had been worst. She remembered to well the fighting, the jealousy, and the overwhelming pain of his death. But he’s here, she reminded herself. He is not dead. That pain is over.
She felt his hands heavy and comforting on his shoulders, felt his face so close to hers and the heat of his breath on her lips. The rhythm of his voice and the warmth of the bond calmed her fears. This was Saker. Her Saker. She had been so terrified of being defenseless that she had failed to realize that he was her defense. It was not so bad to find strength in love. She did not have to fight the world alone. She felt something in her mind slip, like a handkerchief, a fabric she had not known was there that had thus far hidden her true feelings from both Saker and herself. She loved him. He knew now and so did she.
"I . . . I'm . . . sorry. I love you."
Alaren closed her eyes, feeling a tear leak from them. “I dreamt about you,” she murmured weakly, feeling defeated yet safe under the weight of his hands. “About Tear. I wanted to know you were safe. I didn’t want to be alone.” She looked up into his eyes; they were surprisingly close to her own. “Saker,” she whispered seriously. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Alaren Maidon
Bonded to Saker Mandell
Raekal RP Admin Band OL King of Manetheren
Posts: 218
(7/12/06 2:18 pm) Reply
Re: The Return (Curlan)
Saker stared down at her, her head tilted up to look into his eyes, his own boring through hers. Her lips were slightly parted, and he could feel everything that she had been hiding, for all of this time, everything that had been inside now released, uncovered, and the beauty of it was amazing, astounding, pouring through his veins like liquid gold, searing yet sweet, burning yet soft, hot yet comfortable.
"You're not alone, Alaren . . . you haven't been. Somehow, in some way, I have always been there for you. Always. And I will never leave you again, not for anything. Death itself cannot keep me from your side." And he did the only thing he could think of then, not stepping forward but sliding one arm around her shoulders, up to the back of her head, bringing her lips to his own while his other snaked around her waist to hold her trapped against him.
He kissed her, hard, forcefully, but not brutally, not painfully . . . Everything he had flooded through their contact, the kiss, the feelings of love and loss, fear and pleasure . . . he loved her. He had always loved her. And when they parted for air, he held her to him still, not wanting to let her go, not wanting to make her ever feel alone ever again. Then, as he stared down at her, and she at him, he kissed her again, reveling in the satisfaction of being able to do so.
(Raekal Dunshain) -- First Stormleader Asha'man Bonded to Brenna Selanos (Saker Mandell) -- King of Manetheren (Seia Vron) -- Asha'man (Tristan Du'saa) -- Gaidin in Training (Kerin Lizaile) -- Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Re: The Return (Curlan)I will never leave you again, not for anything.
There it was, the promise she had waited for, had hoped for, had so desperately needed. It seemed silly; she knew always in her heart that he was hers. The bond promised it. But to hear the words from his own lips, the promise to stand by her always, gave her the reassurance she craved.
Suddenly, Saker’s lips were doing a whole lot more than promising. As he drew her close, Alaren stiffened out of habit. This is what she had feared all along; this intimacy with another person, the surrender of control to her emotions. There were reasons why Aes Sedai avoided relationships; yet as Saker closed the distance between their lips, she somehow could not call them to mind. Her hesitation lasted only a moment; soon enough she had relaxed into his arms and was kissing him back with everything she had.
They parted momentarily, and looked at eachother just long enough to catch their breath. Alaren felt satisfaction and relief radiating from Saker; her own emotions were far more complicated. Just ten minutes before she had been wandering alone in the woods, confused and afraid, and now… here they were. Part of her wanted to cry, part of her wanted to laugh hysterically… and part of her just wanted him to kiss her again, and he did.
“Saker,” she murmured into his mouth as he pulled her away from the wall. She felt as though a weight had been lifted from her heart. After so long of hiding her true feelings, it was a relief to finally succumb to them. She sank into his arms. “I love you,” she said. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
* * * * * * *
“Is it my turn, then?” Alaren said cheerfully. She and Saker were curled up under Saker’s blankets, with Alaren sprawled comfortably with her arm across her Warder and her cheek resting on his shoulder. The night was almost over, with only an hour or so left until sunrise, and in a few hours the coronation ceremonies would begin. At the moment, of course, neither really cared. They were so captured in each other’s company that the events of the night and of the next day were easily forgotten.
Saker nodded drowsily. In the time they hadn’t spent canoodling or dozing, he and Alaren had been actively engaged in a playful game of Truth or Truth. It had seemed appropriate, after Alaren’s monologue, that both should bare their souls equally, so that if either had anything else life-shattering to expose, they might have it over with. So far, Alaren had good-naturedly revealed her partiality towards men with swords, as well as an embarrassing incident involving a mule and a pair of stockings. For his part, Saker had cleared up the ever-looming question of the connecting door.
(“Why in the world is there a door connecting our rooms?” Alaren had finally asked, wondering with horror how many women had made use of it in the past. Saker had laughed, likely sensing her jealousy, and had promptly explained how the room had been intended to be used as an office, but had been prepared as a bedroom upon her arrival.)
Alaren thought hard on her question, studying Saker’s content expression. Their game had been lighthearted thus far, but there were serious things, too; there were certainly things Saker did not know about her, and she had a feeling he had things too. Not secrets; just things that had never come up. But there was one thing that had baffled Alaren from the beginning, and now was as good of a time as any.
“Saker,” she said quite seriously, meeting his eyes thoughtfully. “Why me? I mean, there must be a thousand women out there who would swoon at the sight of you, I’ve been horrible to you, and yet you still love me. Why? Why in the world would you choose me?”
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies