shadeaux63
Global User
Posts: 817
(8/28/04 12:19 am)
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The difference between ladies,and real women
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women- Leftover wine?? Hello!!
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Ladies- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women- Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!
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Ladies- Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
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Ladies- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
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Ladies- When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.
Real Women- Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a bitch for you.
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Ladies- Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women- Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
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Ladies- If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women- Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
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And finally the most important tip....
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail....... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn... that was fun!!
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