This one's for Falderal and all you other limerickers
This is from a newspaper contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the two words, Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber), in a Limerick. Here are the three winners:
Third place:
There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Second place:
Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky
Let's not leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.
And the winning entry:
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.
There once was a man from Nantucket
There once was a Pres name of Bill,
Whose wife they all say was a chill,
Some say he went nuts,
And felt interns butts,
At home you must get more than nil.
ouch...a little to close to home there...sorry.
The next guy to move in was Bush,
The White House saw much much less tush,
He changed the speed dial,
And smiled a small smile,
And removed the whore house with a push.
It keeps going and going...
One night in the dark he said, "Laura"
the last thing that I want is to bore ya,
But I was snoopin around,
and look what I found,
Bill left somethin here you'll adora.
oof...that was pushin the outside of the envelope...how about this...
George said to that Rumsfled hey Don,
When you used to work here for old Ron,
Did he score any babes?
Did you see the Bat Cave?
Or did the fun start when you were gone?
yuck...this is what you call limerick improv at its worst...
George once again stepped on his tongue,
and mumbled Connie Chung had got lung,
They noted she was left,
He made his chin cleft,
And said, "Thank God I am hung."
here's my try
Hey DJ, that sure got your juices flowing!
Unless you signed off without knowing
That girls have got spice
and everything nice
I'm sure your dark eyes would be glowing.
But back to that cheeky lewinsky
Who bombarded over kazcinsky
cuz an envelope lick
just won't do the trick
For a prick's presidential ratingsky...
manniac dharma explorer
Posts: 547
(8/3/03 11:23 am) Reply
and mine....
A porky young lass named Lewinsky
Compared to the bomber Kazcinsky:
He likes dynamite sticks
She likes Democrat dicks,
He blows; She prefers to suck insky.
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