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Valenstar 
Keeper of the games
God of Maidens and Misfits
Posts: 165
(5/6/04 8:42 am)
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 Re: Is this Love???
Astara Im sorry its taken me so long to reply to this thread
Im SO glad to hear youve found two nice guys.... PS go for the one you feel the warmth from 
Doll by TheGr8Goddess
SHEEPLE
plural:sheepling
A person regarded as timid, weak, or submissive and easily swayed or led. Usually have the overall intelligence and wit of the ruminant but are disguised in a human or humanlike form
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Astara1 
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 243
(5/10/04 4:50 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Yep, went for the one that has the warm energy, fell totally in love with him.
When Tammy met him, she immediately reached out and took him by the hand, wanting him to take her for a walk, she doesn't do this to everyone, just those she likes, I think she feels the energy of other people too.
My head has been in the clouds lately, been unable to concentrate, It's love alright! 
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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Gaia Angel 
Cranky Hedge Witch
Posts: 1346
(5/11/04 9:18 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
 Awwwwwww goodness vicky! Im so happy for you!!! Jeez i feel like throwing her a falling in love party!!!
u go gf
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1hillclimber
Village Captain of the Guards and Resident Glowbug
Posts: 214
(6/15/04 7:59 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
Damn, Vicky...all we'd have to do is change the names, our story is sooooooooo similar...with a couple of key exceptions:
1) forget sex...his diabetes has ruined that! Is anything being done about it? NO!! That would cost money and no health insurance, yada yada yada. So, the most sacred part of a marriage REALLY CAN have a price tag to it!
2) it's not the tavern and friends, it's the gaming and friends. All freakin' night sometimes.
After I read this thread, I closed down the window and thought about it for a while...pretty sad. Then decided that I cannot keep my mouth shut on this one. So...before I hang myself here on the forum for all to see, I'm gonna go check out the website that Nar so graciously provided us.
I am so happy for your decision and the fact that you're moving on. And hopeful...better things are yet to come and you certainly deserve it!
Love to all,
HC
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 257
(6/15/04 4:03 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Wow Hillclimber, almost paralell lives, the whiskey ruined the sex...and viagra doesn't work if too much alcohol is consumed at the same time, and those little blue pills are expensive!!
That website really made me think and take a good look at my ex.
Things are going well with my new man, he is very loving. We did spend too much time together though, I feel the need for some days alone, going to set some boundaries, like...leave me alone except on weekends lol! He was here for 5 nights recovering from neck surgery..no sex for a while...
I have realised how independent I am, I like it that way, I need time alone!
Blessed be Hillclimber~
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 258
(6/16/04 8:15 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
I just had to come back to this today...I started thinking of my ex yesterday, and crying everytime I thought of him. I thought I was over him, but maybe I just didn't let myself feel the heartbreak until now. The only man I loved completely, for 23 years, broke my heart many times, and I guess that website explains it, he is incapable of true love, sure doesn't make it hurt any less though. I can't stop crying right now.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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shadeaux63
Keeper of the Stars
Posts: 651
(6/16/04 12:34 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Think of them as tears of cleansing.Your soul is finally allowing you to cleanse away all the baggage he left behind.Now,your heart no longer has to carry it around.
So cry all you need to,to wash it all away,and start as fresh as a spring morning,my friend.
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 263
(6/22/04 7:28 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
Thanks Shad. 
Well...now I am being smothered...I've told Dan(the new guy with the warm energy) I need time to myself, thought he understood, but evidently not. Which is one reason I haven't been here posting much.
Spektra will be here thursday(and her boyfriend), and I am going to have to tell Dan to leave me alone for the next few days. All I want to do is get the house ready for their visit, so much to do, and I just want to relax and enjoy when they get here.
There must be a happy medium in a relationship, somehow! One didn't spend enough time with me, the other is trying to be with me constantly.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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Gaia Angel
Cranky Hedge Witch
Posts: 1465
(6/22/04 2:54 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
sorry i missed this for so long sweety I hope that he sees your need and respects it and greiving is so normal even for unhealthy relationships...its a death not only of the relationship but also of all the promise that was there in the beginning. I hope you know we are pulling for you
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 268
(6/23/04 7:17 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
Thanks Gaia, what you said really helps put it into perspective, I have felt like I was crying for what could have been, but never was.
And my new man is now understanding about my need for time alone occaisonally. I think that respecting and honoring anothers feelings is a way of showing love for that person.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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narshaadha
Of the light hand and gentle Heart
Posts: 317
(6/23/04 12:44 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Absolutely it is, astara, and one of the best ways. I used to be married to a guy who didn't respect and honor my feelings, especially when I was too tired to have sex. What a whiner....he insisted I didn't love him (because he equated love with sex) or I gave in and it felt like a type of rape. "Respect" and "honor" - along with "trust" are so-o-o-o-o top-of-the list.
narshaadha
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shadeaux63
Keeper of the Stars
Posts: 659
(6/23/04 12:52 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Most definitely.Part of the problem with some new relationships,is that men and women really do think very differently.What you're thinking of as smothering right now, to him could be just his desire to be as close to you as possibly- he can't get enough of you.
Being honest about your feelings,and letting him know that right now,since you ARE still in a grief phase over your past relationship,and need your alone time to be in touch with those feelings,clear your head,come to your own realizations,and basically get back in touch with who YOU are,as a single,solitary person,and not part of a couple,really is not too much to ask.I'm glad to hear he's understanding of your need for alone time,and yes,I would say it at least shows he respects your feelings,and who you are.And any relationship that builds on a foundation of respect is off to a good start.
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 272
(6/24/04 1:38 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
I just love you all, you are so wise.
This is wierd, but pretty cool...I suddenly felt a release of all connection to my ex, like a purging had taken place through my whole body, I suddenly felt lighter.
The end of that story, finally!
Dan and I had a wonderful time together last night, he is so intelligent, and I was able to feel his warm energy again. I feel happy and content for the first time in a long time.
Yes, this is love. A new and better story now begins.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 287
(7/22/04 8:55 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
The saga continues, oh well.....The smothering thing became a problem again "sigh", he drinks an awful lot too. I thought he didn't drink when we first met, I think it was his intention to hide that a bit at first, I like a drink now and then so it didn't bother me, until I realised how much he drinks..
I ended the relationship.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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narshaadha
Of the light hand and gentle Heart
Posts: 339
(7/22/04 8:24 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Awww, I'm sorry, Astara, but you are a strong, wise woman to have handled it the way you have. Good for you. 
narshaadha
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Valenstar
Keeper of the games
God of Maidens and Misfits
Posts: 206
(7/23/04 4:40 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
Im sorry to hear that Astara. 
Doll by TheGr8Goddess
SHEEPLE
plural:sheepling
A person regarded as timid, weak, or submissive and easily swayed or led. Usually have the overall intelligence and wit of the ruminant but are disguised in a human or humanlike form
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Astara1
The Golden Angel and Protector of the shadows
Posts: 288
(7/27/04 11:15 am)
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Re: Is this Love???
Thanks for your caring Valenstar, and thankyou Narshaadha.
I'm feeling pretty good about things now. Dan and I talked, we had a lot of misunderstandings between us that we cleared up. My ex and I are getting along well and talking about things in ways we never have in the past. I am remaining on my own right now though, as one of my bestess friends put it "there is nothing wrong with being alone". I will be concentrating on loving and taking care of myself, and Tammy and the critters, while I figure out what I really want, and need, in this lifetime. All is good.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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Gaia Angel
ezOP
Posts: 1559
(7/28/04 10:36 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
Vicky, No matter who you wake up next to, give birth to, or befriend...in the end it is only yourself you have to look in the eyes virtually everyday of your life. If you cant give yourself a damn good reason for making yourself feel lousy then not much else matters. ALWAYS do what makes you happy...and define that happiness threw yourself beloved. Not threw a man, not threw a child not threw any exterior focus...but define that happiness from within...from the core of who you are, because to be honest, who we are at the very core I am beginning to realize, is the most beautifull we will ever be.
there are days you are down on yourself and we all sit here and wonder how come you cant see how truly wonderfull you are...but thats ok cause im asumming thats why you keep us around
I love you and I am STILL damned proud of you so there! *cute pout*
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Astara1 
Moderator
Posts: 366
(8/31/04 2:58 pm)
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Re: Is this Love???
You have so much wisdom Gaia.
Someone said to me last night "It hurts when the one you love isn't good for you" wow, so true. I had the mistaken idea that because you love someone, and they love you back, you have to be together, no matter what.
~Dreams are your own unique source of guidance and healing~
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