Thank you. manniac spoke for me on another thread in postmodernism when he told you not to overlook your own ability. You consistently catch moments with grace.
It seems to me there are a number of forms for these little buggers...in other words, I have seen longer ones that utilize a different pattern. Perhaps some night when I am more awake, I shall persue some Haikuspar research on the subject of different forms...give you a bit more to chew on.
Jon369
You got buried because Keld is quite naturally a natural...and because...uhm...well...yours is not haiku.
Just so you know, you're absolutely free to start a new thread inviting comment on your work. That's actually the main purpose of this forum.
Jon369 Registered User
Posts: 22
(12/3/01 2:51 pm) Reply
Re: haiku
What makes it not haiku? The number? In fact, the original tradition that spawned haiku was having multipne poets work together to create a single piece. If the fact that there were several of them negates your defintion, I was merely tapping into a more early form.
Confused,
Jon
P.S. True, the seasonality is established in numer one and is held throuought the series. So, if each individual haiku didn't have a seasonal word in it, your right, though nitpicking IMHO.
J.
P.P.S. Was it the lack of a consistant third line "reveal." Keld's didn't have this and you "loved" his!
Still Confused,
J.
P.P.P.S. Oh! You were referring to my first one. Ahhh... see, that one was engineered as a Rorsarch test on sexual preconceptions. The word "wicked" is not "wick-ed" it's "wick'd," as in a fabric that wicks perspitation through capillary action. ;)
Quote: What makes it not haiku? The number? In fact, the original tradition that spawned haiku was having multipne poets work together to create a single piece. If the fact that there were several of them negates your defintion, I was merely tapping into a more early form.
None of the above.
My understanding of haiku is that it aims at snatching the essence of a moment, a sense, a perception. Your last entry makes an elegant poem but wanders into an interest in complexifying information that is not common in the books of haiku I read...o so long ago.
I do like your poem...and, in fact, your poetry in general. Tighly woven, phonetically smooth, well crafted and well in line with the work of the few contemporary poets I've read.
DeShaz don't let Manniac fool ya he writes them also, and I am no pro. I personally see nothing wrong with your's either. Actually I am envious of the ability the both of you have at long flowing prose. One day I'm going to write me some of that.
Music to my eyes and internal voice, Keld.
You did try fiction a while ago and it was very good. Nothing stopping you. Certainly not a lack of ability.
DeShaz Registered User
Posts: 34
(2/6/03 9:45 pm) Reply
very nice
You've summed up existentialism in 3 words....and beautifully. I suppose it could refer to many other things...but that is what it says to me...the philosophy of life.
.
I like it, Wurd. It reminds me of my childhood in upstate NY near the Canadian border. I can almost detect the smell of wet mittens drying on the radiator...
---------- The next best thing to playing and winning....is playing and losing
Thank you. 
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies