|
Author
|
Comment
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 262
(6/9/05 7:51 pm)
Reply
|
 l'm being kicked out...
hey guys.
l just thought l'd let you know it's gonna be...fucked up for a while. sam's sister has been going to psychologist for a while cus she has seperation anxiety disorder (cheryls going in for surgery and jen's worried she could die or something), and today l found out both the psychiatrist/chologist (whatever) and the pediatrition suggested l be kicked out...colin said if we could find another option he'd go for it, but l dont see one... so l'm being kicked out. l'll probably stay till the end of exams (a couple weeks away) but l'm gonna have to go to the women's shelter tomorow, and see about going on wellfare..which l can't even figure out how to do. oh god...this is so fucking... l can't deal wiht this. l'm scared shitless right now, to be honest, and there's not much l can do about it. and, of course, sam's really upset about this. right now we're thinkin move out together, but honestly? as much as l want him with me - would we even see each other? - l dont know if that's a good idea...except for the fact that staying here might just drive him crazy...so yeah. life absolutely sucks right now, and...panic attacks are lookin a whole lot more friendly. at least then l'd be able to lose myself, at least for a while. much as it might hurt and terrify me, it's gotta be better than this.
|
MsAbsynthe
Given a Place at the table
Posts: 31
(6/12/05 5:01 am)
Reply
|
 Re: l'm being kicked out...
Lauriex, I'm sorry, not really sure what I'm reading - but how can kicking someone out onto the streets be a good thing!?
I'm not understanding your situation, and why a psychologist would say it's a good thing, I'm confused...
I'd like to see things turn out well for you, this is horrible!
Hugs, and I'll say a little prayer for you.
- Julie
|
Gaia Angel 
ezOP
Posts: 2410
(6/12/05 5:52 am)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 263
(6/12/05 11:59 am)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
thanx, guys.
*hugs* gaia... thanx, l really appreciate that. didn't realize how garbled that was till l read it just now, lol.
@msabsynthe
*shrugs* no one said it was a good thing, l guess. just... basically they're kicking me out on the assumption that maybe just maybe it'll magically make jen better... mind you to anyone who lives in the house it seems jen's problems are caused by cheryl's lying, but yeah. l'm suffering for it. *laughs* nice, huh? l can guarantee you one thing outta this tho. l'll never trust anyone with my life, or my heart. aside from sam & bruce there's no one who deserves it... not to the degree l just had thrown back in my face. funny thing is, l think if colin had any say in this at all, he'd put a halt to it.
but honestly, l dont think he has much of one. l'm guessing the choice was made before cheryl n jen even got home from the appt... and you know, l saw jen's msn name yesterday, and guess what it was?
"... l got what l wanted, didn't l? then why do l feel so bad about it?" there was something else at the beginning, but l can't remember what it was.
and now she think's things'll be normal, and expects sam and l to be all happy...both cheryl and her do. fuck, sam hasn't said anything more than the bare necessities to his mom in 3 days now.. and she is NOT happy. but you know what? honestly, l dont think she deserves him.. oi..
sorry for the rant, guys.
oh, and when l said exams were in a couple weeks?
they start tuesday after this one. so l have one week to find a job, study, find an appartment, and try not to go crazy... couldn't they have waited till after school?
*sighs/shrugs* wish me luck, l guess. maybe this is just a test to see if l can deal. if it is, l'll pass...
somehow.
laurie.
|
MsAbsynthe
Given a Place at the table
Posts: 32
(6/12/05 6:44 pm)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
They need to at least give you 2 months, so you have time to finish your studies, and find a job.
She sounds incredibly cruel and insane, I'm very sorry.
{{{hugs}}}
Julie
|
Akuma Kijin
Defender Beast and Fowl
Posts: 190
(6/12/05 8:30 pm)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
There was no actual contract between them so my bitch of a mother can do what ever she feels like. I wish I could do somthing to make all this work but I have no idea how. if any one has any sugestions at all it would be appreciated
~sam
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 266
(6/12/05 10:48 pm)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
huh...
l'm tired of everything, you know that? had to speak to cheryl finally, ask for some tylenol for sam, and she definitely didn't sound happy w/ us/me...
l mean, sure l've made mistakes w/ money, but you know what? having 80 every month to spend when every day is spent being insulted/belittled or made to feel like you're not welcome is not conducive to saving, especially when the only way you know how to deal wiht things is through junk food. so l won't apologize for that.
oi, the reason l said that is because l'm wondering if she's not using my money problems as an excuse. well maybe she should try controlling how she and jen treat people...
anyway, @ ms...
l think you're right. to me, she seems very irrational/unstable, and the affect she's having on jen is... not good. but there's nothing anyone can do about it, because somehow the psychiatrist & pediatrition have decided it's my fault. so if it's not my fault, nothings going to improve by me moving out. and.... yeah.
l went and dropped off resume's around town today, 8 or so, and l'm going to go through the classifieds tomorow for apartments/jobs, and see what l can find. who knows, maybe l'll get lucky.
*sighs* l only wish l had something real that made me look good, as far as employment goes. but l dont, not even job experience....
when you're as fucked up mentally as l am, and have been the last 8 years, it's not easy doing anything, let alone getting a job. weather anyone believes that, it's the truth...
*sigh* sorry if l sound a lil defensive, its just...
a lil over a year and half ago, l was diagnosed w/ something like an undeveloped or underdeveloped personality disorder...
which means l have the emotional maturity of a child in so many ways. and this past year? l was just starting to get strong, believe l could be a good person, then all this bullshit w/ jen started happening (about 6 or 7 months ago now) and l started to have problems again...
and now this. and funny thing is, colin thinks l can do this on my own...find a job/manage my life, that is. but, honestly?
l dont think l'm ready. and l dont think it's me being insecure, either. it's more... lv'e spent so much time thinking bout myself, learning who l am, that l've begun to understand my strength, and just what l CAN do... unfortunately, l dont know that this is it...
anyway, l'm going to do this. somehow.
thanx, guys.
laurie.
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 270
(7/6/05 11:25 am)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
hey all.
it's been a while since l posted about this, but here's the deal.
colin has decided to get a divorce SOON (in august) so l'm moving out in the last week of july. l'll be going to my grandparents (mom, really) house for the rest of july and august, then in mid aug we're going to go down to where Colin's planning on living w/ sam & drop off resumes, and end of august we leave for kitchener waterloo. anyway, yeah. thats pretty much it, l guess, other than the fact that right now l'm in councelling every week, roughly.
hope everyone's doing okay.
laurie.
|
Sugar Mtn Honeybee
Waiting for a name!!
Posts: 174
(7/9/05 8:25 am)
Reply
|
Re: l'm being kicked out...
I'm glad to see that things are turning around a bit for you & sam.. Sounds like a good thing for colin too. There's only so much you can do to help others - and if they don't want help, there's not a thing you can do about it.
|
|
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies 
