"Fantasy"
I posted the lyrics to one of my pieces of music in the "Ex Nihilo" forum.
Any comments on that piece?
Edited by: Dart at: 8/29/01 8:59:07 am
Very nice tight rhyme. I am again at a disadvantage as I imagine there is music to this and yet I cannot hear it.
The general structure is solid and the general idea quite saddening. I am, however wondering if a verse of somewhat more specific yet universal details could be added...
By which I mean, we've all been there. We've certainly all had people disappoint or scram or whathaveyoou when promises were made or hearts were intertwined so even if specifics pertain only to the situation you're writing about, they will be universally understood. This might give the lyrics a little more bite. They come across as very gentle and a bit on the avoiding side right now.
While being left/leaving hurts like hell, if you're going to use the emotive response in work, juice the rind.
Er, and if this is recent, my sincerest condolences.
It happens to the best of us, Dart.
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Posts: 12
(8/30/01 10:52 pm) Reply
Re: "Fantasy"
Wow. Most definitely impressive. I can't quite hear the music, since I'm unfamiliar with music terms (what exactly is a 6/8 tempo?), but I like the poem. The content is very deep, and solid, none of the fluffy, lovey stuff like other ballads. In other words, I like it, and can sense a definite rhythm to it, despite your objections to the contrary. Nice one.
We are all alike in that we want to be different.
-David Nolvin
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