|
Author
|
Comment
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 93
(8/12/04 4:57 pm)
Reply
|
um... untitled (novel in progress)
hey guys..
ian suggested soemthing that kinda makes sense, so here goes. for the last hour or so l've been looking for ano online wrting forum, but haven't had any luck... until ian said to post it here. l'm gonna post the prelude here, and if u guys like it l'll post more.. only thing l ask is that if you see mistakes, let me know, or at least let me know what you think, kay? any suggestions will be appreciated...
here goes.. *winces* is this a good idea??
ps.. l'll do the italics n stuff so it's easier to read after i get it posted.
Prelude
Mika stepped into the small studio apartment just in time to hear faint whimpers floating softly through the air. immediately tensing up, he toed off his shoes, carrying his jacket in one hand, and turned around to watch me shut the door with a small click behind us. We heard another whimper, this time a little louder, and instinctively Mika tried to locate where the sound was coming from, but it was a little hard to see in the gloomy shadows of the room. A light overhead clicked on, and l winced at the sudden glaring brightness. At the same time yet another whimper, this time louder, and clearly in fairly intense pain, was heard.
“Shh. It’s alright, l’ll turn it off.” Following these words a small touch lamp flickered on in the far corner, and the overhead light blinked out, leaving us in shadows again. “Who are you, and what do you want?”
In the dimmer light we could both see a silver haired man sitting in a chair set in the far corner of the one room. He was leaning over a restless figure on the bed against the wall, faintly outlined by the sheets bunched up around their waist.
“Raven.” l put one hand on Mika’s shoulder, stopping him before he had a chance to do anything drastic, and stepped farther into the room, frowning as Raven whimpered again. “We’re friends of Ravens,” l said quietly, and nodded to Mika. “He’s Raven’s older brother.”
“Oh.”
“Yes. You’re Donovan, l assume?” lt was merely formality at this point, but l wanted a way of showing the mage he could trust us - there was no way to guarantee he’d recognize me, especially after 1000 years. I’d changed a lot since then, l knew, if not in physical appearances, then in the way l carried myself.
“Yes. I’m-” his voice trailed of, and he turned to look at me. “Daven?” He interrupted me, and l winced faintly. Guess he’d recognized me afterall.
“Yeah, Donovan. It’s me.” Now we see how mad he is; l sighed and grabbed a chair, waiting for his next reaction, and gestured for Mika to grab his own (very uncomfortable) chair and sit beside me.
“Thank you.” I blinked and looked over at Mika, looking for any indication that l’d imagined that.
“Thank you?” l repeated, frowning slightly, and glanced over to where Raven was lying on the bed. Small spots of blood dotted the sheets, but it didn’t look as if the wound was too bad.
“Yes,” he said quietly, jerking my attention back to his face. Donovan was still leaning protectively over Raven, and l felt myself soften a bit. It seemed like he cared for the other man, in some way or other.
“lf you hadn’t-” he paused and looked away, and l swear l could see shame in his eyes, “if you hadn’t stopped me, l wouldn’t have met Raven. I thank you for that.” He spoke softly, voice barely rising above a murmur, and l grinned. He was nothing like the brash, over-confident mage l used to know. In fact, it was hard to believe they were the same person at all.
“You’re welcome.” l walked over to the bed and looked Donovan in the eye. “May l?” l said, and turned my gaze to Raven. This close l could see that there was more blood matting his fur than l thought.
“ls he going to be okay, Daven?” Mika asked quietly as he hovered over my shoulder, a small frown darkening his eyes.
“He’ll be fine,” the previously dark mage in the chair said, brushing one hand over the prone wolf’s forehead. His whole demeanor spoke louder than words ever could, showing everything ranging from confusion to hesitancy and fear to tenderness and - something much like love, though l wasn’t sure it could be called that yet.
“Thank god.” l looked over at Mika when he finally jerked himself out of the slight stupor he’d been in, and felt my own heart clench. Suddenly glad of the shadows, l looked away, my face flushing more than l’d like.
The wolf’s dreams revolved around touch and sound, with an odd mix of animal play thrown in. He felt a gentle hand brush down his side, ruffling the coarse, blood-matted fir, and flinched. The touch was nice, but it hurt. A whimper escaped despite his tightly clenched jaws, and the hand above him stilled. He could hear odd sounds surrounding him, but they were - safe. This man wasn’t going to hurt him. The hand came back again, this time above his eyes, and he felt his muscles begin to relax.
This was safety. He could close his eyes, let the darkness take him, without fear.
“How long till the moon phase wears off?” l shifted on the small chair, watching longingly as the ancient mage’s hands gently tended to the wolf’s wounds. Bright lights were dancing around the man’s fingertips, going from bright to dark and back again before fading abruptly, but what really got to me was Donovan’s aura. From what l could sense of his magical signature, the feelings for Raven were growing stronger already, despite the were-wolf issue. I wanted the freedom to do that - the right to care for Mika when he was sick, or hurt, or…whatever.
My thoughts were interrupted by another quiet whimper floating through the air, and when l looked over at Raven l could see that he was beginning to wake up. It was only then that l realized how long we’d been here, and turned towards Mika.
“l think we should probably go, Mika,” l said quietly, expecting a disagreement.
The young man looked at me with a grim smile on his face and sighed, standing up as he did so. “l know. Let’s go, Daven.” Donovan started to stand up with us, but when Raven whimpered again he said “l’d show you to the door, but…” and trailed off. Raven was beginning to toss and turn restlessly, eyes fluttering slightly in the dim light, and l could see that Donovan was hesitant to leave the wolf alone, even for a moment.
“l know. Don’t’ worry about it, Donovan. We’ll be back later to see how he’s doing, okay?” Mika’s voice was quiet, but l could see that he wasn’t as worried about his brother anymore. Maybe coming here had been a good idea after all.
Edited by: lauriex at: 8/12/04 5:00 pm
|
Valenstar 
Keeper of the games
God of Maidens and Misfits
Posts: 222
(8/12/04 5:10 pm)
Reply
|
Re: um... untitled (novel in progress)
Reads well
If that was a a prelude in a novel i picked up id be intrigued to know more....
Thanks for posting that Laurie - im looking forward to reading more of it.
Doll by TheGr8Goddess
SHEEPLE
plural:sheepling
A person regarded as timid, weak, or submissive and easily swayed or led. Usually have the overall intelligence and wit of the ruminant but are disguised in a human or humanlike form
|
Gaia Angel 
ezOP
Posts: 1692
(8/15/04 2:15 pm)
Reply
|
Re: um... untitled (novel in progress)
very nice and yup falls under the heading of sci fi gf. Run a search at yahoo...tyhere is a sci fi book club ill try to find the link...try not to take there cits. hard though...they really only wanna help and noone is overly mean. But GF u have talent!
|
lauriex
The gentle hearted
Posts: 100
(8/15/04 6:24 pm)
Reply
|
Re: um... untitled (novel in progress)
l do?
thanx, gaia. that means a lot. writing's been one of my hobbies (and dreams) most of my life, so yeah.
l'm going to go search for it now then, and see what happens.
as for the crits, as long as their not being cruel, l dont mind. l'd ratehr improve however l can, ya know?
laurie.it does mean a lot to me.
|
|
Email This To a Friend
Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies 
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies 
